“I’m a stitch away from making it and a scar away from falling apart”
The (After) Life of the Party
Songs to describe my life right now:
The (After) Life of the Party- Fall Out Boy
I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)- Fall Out Boy
Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)- Green Day
Back In Your Head- Tegan & Sara
“From Now On We’re Enemies”- Fall Out Boy
The Only Exception- Paramore
Shake It Out- Florence + The Machine
Northern Downpour- Panic! At the Disco
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
Wonderwall- Oasis
Anonymous asked: Who takes it in the ass you, or your boyfriend?
We’ve never had sex so we wouldn’t know
Woman v. The Government
- Woman: I cannot afford to have a child right now. Can I have birth control?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I got pregnant but I cannot afford to have a child and I'm not ready to be a parent. Can I have an abortion?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I had the child, but I cannot afford to raise him. Will you help me out?
- Government: No.
- Woman: I guess I'll have to give my child up for adoption.
- Barry and Steve: We would love to raise your child. We have been in a committed relationship for 15 years. We have steady careers and are very successful and financially stable. We love children and wish to provide a loving nurturing environment for your child. Would you be willing to give your child to us?
- Woman: Sure, as long as it's ok with the government.
- Government: No.
So in one week we’ve got three cannibal cases in Florida, a man spitting blood all over a highway patrol officer, another man disemboweling himself and then throwing his intestines at two police officers, and a woman beheading her infant and eating it’s brain…….
- normal people on tumblr: TMI Tuesday! I'll answer anything!!!
- Me: Bitch please I would answer anything at anytime but no one asks me shit
